Days like today

Today my children were defiant, disobedient and disrespectful. They argued, moaned and drove me crazy all day long.

I wasn’t at my best either. Their behaviour made me feel angry and frustrated, which just made the situation worse. I shouted. I threatened. I said things I regret.

If I could have marched into the nearest school and signed my children up then and there, I would have. Just so that I wouldn’t have to deal with them anymore, for a few hours at least.

Home education is not always wonderful. On days like today it is really hard! Of course, parenting can be challenging and difficult regardless of how you choose to educate, but at times I do envy the break that school would provide.

At the risk of sounding like a terrible mother, sometimes I really don’t like my own children very much! Because they are sinners, just like me. On days like today they need a whole lot of grace. And so do I.

“Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need”. Hebrews 4:16.

7 Comments

  1. Karmin Gaytan

    Yes. It is exhausting, and sometimes I just want to escape them for a few minutes, a few hours, or even a few days. My mom recently moved in with me, which is a great blessing. I am also a member of the YMCA, a local gym, where I can drop off the children at childcare then either sit in the lobby and do nothing or actually take advantage of the gym and get in some exercise. It gives me as many as 3 much-needed hours away from them.

    I totally understand not liking them sometimes. We always love them, but we don’t always like the way they’re behaving and interacting. If only they were perfect just like us, haha! I kid, of course. Sometimes my eldest (who is adopted) is the spitting image of me – in his bad behavior! Eek, that’s very convicting!

    • Sarah

      That’s great that you’re able to get some time to yourself. I didn’t seem to need it when they were younger but now I do feel the need for it more. I occasionally take myself off to the supermarket in the evenings just to be alone!

  2. Susanna

    Oh how these words resound in my heart. I know them to be true. I do think it is especially hard right now knowing that many parents will be getting a break once their children are back at school. Sometimes I don’t like my children and want a break too….so you aren’t alone xx

  3. kirsteen

    I can sympathise and empathise and respect your honesty. Some days are so wonderful and some days are so awful it’s not surprising school starts to feel tempting…

    Big hugs all round and tomorrow is another day. 🙂

  4. Same here, especially this year since Iona’s behaviour has gone downhill so much and we suspect autism (one big reason why I haven’t blogged for over a year now).

  5. When I shared this with Dave he said did you just write this :-). I have lost count the number of times this scenario has played in our house! We have the additional hassle of Pip currently in school and Benedict St home. We have done an optionering exercise and on paper it makes sense to have her home, but with multiple health probs and no family nearby the school provides her with a much needed routine, regular contact with other kids and a break for mum and dad! However she will be tested at the end of this year, and the new head is flaky about flex schooling. My head is a complete mess thinking about it all 🙁

    Stay true to your convictions for Aaron and Tabitha will benefit from them.

    Sending you a hug and encouragement for you are doing a great job xx

  6. Thank you for posting this, mine have been squabbling so much I felt like seeing if the local school could fit them in at last minute! A much needed reminder that they are sinners like me and yes, we all need liberal helpings of grace. Thanks 🙂

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